Psychology 101

Here we all are with our spanking new diplomas. See the KGB dropout hiding behind her shades - that's me!

For all you psychology graduates and others who nevertheless sport a perverted interest in the field, here are some remnants of a time long ago when I was wrapped up in psychology and statistics courses.

First, a couple of mind-boggling quotes from actual textbooks:

“Not waking up is probably one of the main reasons people die in their sleep.”

and

“Suicide researchers are faced with a major problem: their subjects are no longer alive.”

To end my reminiscing, here’s an ode composed in honour of the course I dreaded most – statistics. I am particularly proud of the year I managed to rank lowest in a class of 150 students.

Waiting for that new serotonin supply,
Or a bus stuck hours in traffic,
An upcoming disaster is haunting my brain
(exams being the subject of panic).
Statistically, however, I am reassured
by my newfound promising religion –
Life is a regression to the means
and happiness is just in remission.
One cannot help but wonder, however,
if the means will create elevation.
Regression is just as likely to end
in a morbid statistic depression.

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This entry was posted in Funny anecdotes, Psychology, To the Literati and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Psychology 101

  1. 1markt says:

    Humor amidst turmoil, “the smile, hides my tears and fears”. Very evocative with a sense of inevitability, yet funny.

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