First, a couple of mind-boggling quotes from actual textbooks:
“Not waking up is probably one of the main reasons people die in their sleep.”
“Suicide researchers are faced with a major problem: their subjects are no longer alive.”
To end my reminiscing, here’s an ode composed in honour of the course I dreaded most – statistics. I am particularly proud of the year I managed to rank lowest in a class of 150 students.
Waiting for that new serotonin supply,
Or a bus stuck hours in traffic,
An upcoming disaster is haunting my brain
(exams being the subject of panic).
Statistically, however, I am reassured
by my newfound promising religion –
Life is a regression to the means
and happiness is just in remission.
One cannot help but wonder, however,
if the means will create elevation.
Regression is just as likely to end
in a morbid statistic depression.