Yes, I did. I said it.
Isn’t it wonderful how we’ve democratized writing? Think back a couple of years. Remember when we all knew – it was just a given – that writing is a profession, that we can’t all be journalists, novelists, speech writers and playwrights? Duh… Just like we can’t all be brain surgeons and TV repairmen (kicking the machine never actually works).
Skip forward. It’s the 21st Century. Still, we can’t all spell, we can’t all punctuate. Some of us can’t construct a sentence to save our lives. But – most of us can string words together to create meaning. Yay! We can blog!
I’m exaggerating? Am I? Amongst the endless array of sites devoted to blogging, how many of them deal with the quality of the writing and not with how to increase stats, appeal to readers, strike up interesting topics, get traffic, ads and sensationalist titles? Exactly! So, here I am to redress the balance and talk about the actual writing.
1) Anything that’s overwritten:
“I awoke amidst the dazzling illumination of the radiant rays and…
To which I respond – oops, I vomited.
2) Overusing adjectives:
“I want to assiduously comment on the vacuously – vapid musings of my knowledgable yet superficially inclined fellows..
To which I respond – oops, I’ve turned geriatric.
3) Life-Narratives (aka rambling):
“Today I woke up with a bad mood. I thought I would eat something but wasn’t sure what. I felt like going to the bathroom but didn’t feel like getting out of bed…”
To which I respond – oops, I’ve taken my own life just to get out of reading yours.
4) Thesaurus abuse
“Yours truly luxuriates in plucking aquatic vertebrates from the briny deep.”
To which I respond – ???? (you like fishing, huh?)
“I really wanted to write something today. But I somehow feel uninspired…”
To which I respond – step away from your computer. Go out. Smell the roses. Talk to people (real live ones). Get back to us when you have something to say.
6) Solipsistic abbreviations:
“So then j.c.k and I took the D.E.R and bought a DDO. It was Kick-*8!”
TWIR – WTF??
And – by popular demand (well, whoever wrote the comment is surely popular) –
7) Spelling and grammar mistakes:
“This article was readed 31 time/s”
You think I made this up? I didn’t! I just found my own post on a different website, and that’s what it said underneath. Readed. READED!!!
Come on – admit that you agree! I’m going to add items as they occur to me. But I’ll be happy to hear your suggestions. What turns you off? (And yes, I’m sure this post is a big turn off for some of you!)